yesterday was the greatest..

yesterday i got to spend the morning with one of my favorite people...mr. dan braswell.
he is just the absolute greatest. we got to just have a meal and hang out, but it was such a great day!!! i miss him. a bunch. he's just one of those people that i can never spend too much time with. and that makes me miss my other friends too. friends that live too far away. sad. but i'll see them soon!!!
on another note, i also got to talk to lauren yesterday about life. that's always good! she puts things in perspective for me, and that never hurts. we got to have a good talk just about how life is going and the future. i can honestly say that i'm really enjoying thinking about what God has in store for me in the future. i've been reading this book by donald miller called through painted deserts, and i have to say that it's really giving me a different point of view...or should i say that through the book, God is giving me a different view about life and my future...so anyways, i'm not going to leave a song today, but rather a quote from him...possibly one of my favorite quotes right now. i love you all, and if you're moving around, be safe! kisses

"It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

what to say?

since i think no one really reads this, i think i can be just as candid as i would like...so we'll see. haha. anyways, i have been thinking about my life lately. i think that when i am alone, i do a lot of self reflection (this could be a good or bad thing...i haven't really decided yet). i've been thinking about this disease that i have. it's called discontentment. it has infected me first hand and has infiltrated my body and mind. i keep thinking that i am just behind or just doomed to be unattractive, or single forever, or any other number of ridiculous things. but i am slowly learning. i have been thinking about my place in this world. and then it hit me that my place in this world is no place at all. i wasn't made for this. i have been fighting with this discontentment, and bad attitude, when i am just not made for this place. i was not created to worry about my weight, my love life, or any other stupid thing that i worry myself with. the only thing i should be concerned with is giving my LORD His proper glory. everything else is just...well stuff. so i guess that's just my stuff for today. my stuff that i keep worrying about. so if you pray for me, ask the Lord to help me continue down this path toward Him, and away from the stupid stuff i keep thinking about. love you guys...kisses.
i guess i should leave a song since it's a tradition and all. this song holds strong silly & sentimental value to me, not necessarily from the lyrics, but just because (you'll have to ask me about that one...)

I Wish We'd All Been Ready
DC Talk

Life was filled with guns and war,
And all of us got trampled on the floor.
I wish we'd all been ready.

Children died, the days grew cold.
A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold.
I wish we'd all been ready.

And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.

A man and wife asleep in bed,
She hears a noise, turns her head he's gone.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Two men walking up a hill,
One disappears, one's left standing still.
I wish we'd all been ready.

And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind
(oh yeah, ooh)
(yeah, alright)

The Father spoke, the demons dined.
How could you have been so blind?
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.

No, And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind

I hope we'll all be ready.
You've been left behind...

do i need a hero?

of course tonight...of ALL nights is bonnie tyler night. so instead of boring you with another total eclipse of the heart reference (although it is one of my fav songs...) i'll give you a different lovely ballad of hers...

Holding Out for a Hero
Bonnie Tyler

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dreamof what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind end the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood

i stand amazed

i stand amazed in the presence
of JESUS the nazerene
and wonder how He could love me
a sinner condemned unclean

how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows
He made them His very own
He bore the burden to Calvary
and suffered and died alone

how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!

between a rock & a hard place

so i'm thinking i might not write here anymore. but of course i need someone else to make that decision for me, so let me know if you think i should...
until then, i leave you with one of my repeat songs of the day.

Somebody to Love
Queen

Can anybody find be somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet(Take a look at yourself)
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have to spend all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief Lord

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard (he works hard) everyday of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)
'Til the tears run down from my eyesLord

Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (please)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(He wants help)Every day - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
(He's)I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Ooh
Somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(Anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel
I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK I'm alright (he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I'm gonna be free Lord

Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love...
Somebody somebody somebody somebody
Find me somebody to love...

today is the day

so i've officially moved into my apartment. it's a bit satisfying to be in a new place and have all my stuff in it. however, i'm not officially unpacked yet. baby steps. all baby steps. haha. i hope you all have had a wonderful first two weeks of the year. i have been blown away by the Lord's provision this week. just to mention it to you. i thought you might like to know. i'm learning so much about how the Lord works in my life. i keep thinking that i'm alone. that i'm going to be alone forever. it's a depressing thought if you let it be. i know that my life is not that way, but the enemy keeps on putting that thought in my mind. the thought that i have nothing and have no way of making my life have some meaning. but how untrue that is! the Lord is completely working in my life. sometimes i have to stop and look for it. but that doesn't mean He is isn't right there weaving His beauty into my life and making me more aware of His wonder. what a beautiful God! i am just constantly amazed by the wonder that the Lord reveals. there is such beauty and glory if you just stop and look at it. (i.e. this amazing picture of the sunset from the cruise ship....beautiful huh?!!)
i am also becoming more aware of the ways that i try to doubt the power and grace of God. i shy away from committing my everything to Him. i think it's because i'm just selfish and afraid. but those are two of the dumbest reasons to ever doubt. i have been reading this donald miller book that is now called through painted deserts (it used to be named the art of volkswagon maintenance or something like that)...but the Lord has been talking to me through this story of travel as told by don. i can't remember exactly where he talks about it, but he mentions several times the "why's" of life vs. the "how's" of life. it's like we think of the how constantly, and the why not as much. we are wondering how to get a spouse, how to be successful, how to find a career, how to whatever...blah blah...but we aren't asking the why...why is there love, why does it seem hard to find what would make you happy????? that got me thinking. why God sees me as worthy enough to receive His love? why am i so focused on getting married? why have i focused so much on the how's and missed the whys???? this forces you to look within...that could be scary, so proceed with caution!! i have looked at the how so much that i have missed lots of beautiful blessings in my life. i have the greatest friends, and i need to ask myself why they like to hang out with me....haha. just kidding. but seriously, in light of the thoughts that i'm getting about that, i am making my song for today a classic...brace yourself, cause it's U2. love you guys so much, and start thinking!!! haha. kisses.
(p.s. sorry this is so long tonight! thanks for putting up with me!)

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
U2

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you, only to be with you

I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls, these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips, felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire, This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one, bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you loosed the chains
Carried the cross, of my shame, of my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

i love it when we're cruisin together...

what a fun trip with beautiful pine cove friends...

we be some safe people!!

fancy night!!

jeff me & gigi

@ playa del carmen

so i'm back and i'm still alive...i'll update more when i get back to my computer but for now, here are some pictures to hold you over...

it's 2006...weird.

so tomorrow i leave for my cruise. but today is a fun day of shopping!! i'm quite excited! this cruise is going to be super fun!! i don't really have anything fun to write about though...so i leave you with the song for the day. think about what it's telling us to do...love each other. wow. i just realized that that sounds pretty cheesy, but it's true. give others some genuine Jesus love today. be good people....kisses.

One Love/People Get Ready
Bob Marley

One Love! One Heart!
Let's get together and feel all right.
Hear the children cryin' (One Love!)
Hear the children cryin' (One Heart!)
Sayin': give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Sayin': let's get together and feel all right.

Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love!)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (One Heart!)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner,
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own beliefs?

One Love! What about the one heart?
One Heart!What about - ?
Let's get together and feel all right

As it was in the beginning (One Love!)
So shall it be in the end (One Heart!),
All right!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.

One more thing!
Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One Love!),
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (One Song!).
Have pity on those whose chances grows t'inner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation.

Sayin': One Love! What about the One Heart? (One Heart!)
What about the - ?
Let's get together and feel all right.I'm pleadin' to mankind! (One Love!)

Oh, Lord! (One Heart) Wo-ooh!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.