the last train is nearly due.....

Mood: poetic

i have been hearing poetry all around me today. beautiful words that i could never conceive of, but that are so lovely. so i decided to share! i put two of my favorite poems below, and while i'm re-reading an old dorothy parker book, you can read these!!! love yous!!!!! enjoy the rest of your saturday!!!

i carry your heart with me by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear no fate
for you are my fate, my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart

one art by elizabeth bishop

the art of losing isn't hard to master
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

lose something every day. accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.

then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. none of these will bring disaster.

i lost my mother's watch. and look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.

i lost two cities, lovely ones. and, vaster,
some realms i owned, two rivers, a continent.
i miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
i love) i shan't have lied. it's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.


i love those two poems.


(and this lyric title is from simon & garfunkel's "poem on the underground wall"...just in case you were wondering!)

personality, walk with personality, smile with personality....

Currently Listening:
Amos Lee
Amos Lee (album)

who knew?!


You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused.

all i want for christmas is you....

Current Mood: cheerful & christmasy
Currently Watching: Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

so i saw this thing on my friend parker's journal that made me think.

I want to live in a holy manner so that I can say thank you with my life... thank you for my life.

i love that. i echo that for my own life. i want my motive to be a holy life, not just a moral life. i want to live with obedience and love, giving God thanks and praise for what i have and who i am. without that obedience, it seems a bit hollow...it doesn't mean as much without the foundation behind it.

on a different note, i can't wait for christmas this year!!! it's such a fun time....i love being home for the holidays...it being cold, getting to see family, doing fun things together, watching a christmas story over and over again on christmas day (a tradition in our family!!! haha) all that stuff. i love that about christmas. but what is disappointing to me is that there is a loss of what makes christmas christmas. the birth of our Jesus. what a great thing to celebrate!!!!!!!! i'm always amazed every year by how much the christmas eve service at our church blows me away!!! i love it!!! and i cry almost every year (i'm such a sap i know!!)...at just how beautiful everything is, but mostly at what an amazing gift we have in Jesus. that just blows my mind!!

i got on the christmas rant because they are showing how the grinch stole christmas on tv, and i just love that little cartoon (almost as much as the charlie brown christmas)...it makes me want to decorate for christmas!!! (but not until after thanksgiving...)
so i hope your heart is not two sizes too small, an that you enjoy today like it's christmas!!! hee hee!

love is all around me, it's everywhere you go....

Mood: contemplative

(official disclaimer from me....this is a lot deeper than what i usually write and ended up being sappier than anything, but if you want to read it, that's obviously what it's here for....and don't worry, there's still song lyrics in here...you just have to find them!!!)

i think love is the most important thing. ever. there are so many reasons why, but recently i was reminded of it by a friend of mine. i love when people can show you things that God is trying to tell you. getting to see faces that just make you smile--you don't know why or how, but they are faces that just seem to force a joyful expression to your face--those are faces of people that i love. i think it's so amazing the way that God brings that joy into your life. the joy of friendships. and of family.

friends have always been so valuable to me. i have always considered my friends to be my family, so if you are someone that i talk to on a daily basis, or even weekly, or monthly, know that is what i consider you to be. and you mean the world to me. when i lose touch with a friend, it really hears me, like losing another family member...which i realized recently has been more devastating than i had ever though.

i recently got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. i haven't seen her in 7 years--the last time i saw her was for my high school graduation. it's not that she lives far away, or that i can't seem to get to her house, it's just that somehow,, she has slipped out of my life. after my dad died, we didn't see much of her. i don't know if i wasn't considered to be as much a part of their family anymore or what, but suddenly i felt like i was on the outside. but every year, i got another birthday card with a check for $25 in it. from the time i was about 6 years old to now.

my freshman year of high school, i got a letter at christmas from my aunt, saying that my meemaw had died a couple of months earlier, and suddenly i was filled with such unbelievable grief that i was actually angry, an emotion that i don't really express much. (that sounds ridiculous to say, but that's the best way i can describe it) it was like my dad had died all over again--it just didn't seem fair. that all these people were just gone, with no real goodbyes. that just hurt my heart all over again. it felt like that solidified a break--a break from that part of my family, like the only thing i had to connect me with them was my last name.

so anyways, i got this card in the mail, and as soon as i opened it, i just started crying. it didn't matter that all that stuff and hurt and grief had happened in the past. my aunt thought enough about me to send me another cutesy halloween card with a check for $25 in it. every year. what love that she has for me, that every single year, wihtout fail, she send me that card. and the messages on them are always so cheesy...like i'm still a little girl (i.e. here's "witching" you a happy halloween...i've seen them all), but i LOVE them. i treasure them, because i see the value. i get the message. love is all around me. it's one of those things that you can see in everything. all you have to do is open your eyes to it. how beautiful. God created love--it's manifested in everything you see--people can surprise you with their love for you.

i didn't mean to go that deep with it, but i just had to say that i am so blessed. i was simply going to talk about how the love of wonderful friends has changed my life--about how seeing God in the faces that bless me every day--but i think i will leave it at God creating love and showing us that love every day. in some way or another, we all get to see it.

Everybody's talking how i can't can't be your love...

Mood: contemplative

i love how sometimes songs just speak to you on a subconscious level...like you hear a song for the first time in a long time, adn all the sudden you just want to listen to it over and over again...
i think that it's one of those somethings that gets put in your head to help you deal with something going on in your life...so there you go. that and i just love this song, so it's what i'm posting today. sorry that these are so erratic, but whatever. i just write as the mood strikes me.

"Be Be Your Love"

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love


it's a great song...if you've never heard it, it's on my playlist right now!

celebrity what??!?!??

so i finally took one of those celebrity look-a-like things, and here is what it came up with. yay. enjoy.