Mood: thoughtful
Currently Listening to:
Mat Kearney
Nothing Left to Lose (album)
so i've been in a contemplative state lately....wondering if anything about my life is really making a difference in the lives of anyone else...so here's where you come in i guess......
i would love it if you would send me a message telling me something we've done together or just some way that i've been a part of your life...just letting me know that you care is one way to really touch my heart. i cherish my friends so much, and i would love to know what you think......
try not to leave a message here though....i want this to be just between us!! love you guys so much!!!!!
ps...i'm going to see mat kearney on dec 14 in dallas, and if you want to come with me, i would love it!!!!
04 December 2006
25 November 2006
the last train is nearly due.....
Mood: poetic
i have been hearing poetry all around me today. beautiful words that i could never conceive of, but that are so lovely. so i decided to share! i put two of my favorite poems below, and while i'm re-reading an old dorothy parker book, you can read these!!! love yous!!!!! enjoy the rest of your saturday!!!
i carry your heart with me by e.e. cummings
i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear no fate
for you are my fate, my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart
one art by elizabeth bishop
the art of losing isn't hard to master
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
lose something every day. accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.
then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. none of these will bring disaster.
i lost my mother's watch. and look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.
i lost two cities, lovely ones. and, vaster,
some realms i owned, two rivers, a continent.
i miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
i love) i shan't have lied. it's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
i love those two poems.
(and this lyric title is from simon & garfunkel's "poem on the underground wall"...just in case you were wondering!)
i have been hearing poetry all around me today. beautiful words that i could never conceive of, but that are so lovely. so i decided to share! i put two of my favorite poems below, and while i'm re-reading an old dorothy parker book, you can read these!!! love yous!!!!! enjoy the rest of your saturday!!!
i carry your heart with me by e.e. cummings
i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear no fate
for you are my fate, my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart
one art by elizabeth bishop
the art of losing isn't hard to master
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
lose something every day. accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.
then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. none of these will bring disaster.
i lost my mother's watch. and look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
the art of losing isn't hard to master.
i lost two cities, lovely ones. and, vaster,
some realms i owned, two rivers, a continent.
i miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
i love) i shan't have lied. it's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
i love those two poems.
(and this lyric title is from simon & garfunkel's "poem on the underground wall"...just in case you were wondering!)
personality, walk with personality, smile with personality....
Currently Listening:
Amos Lee
Amos Lee (album)
who knew?!
You Are An ENFP
The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!
In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts.
At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.
How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding
When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused.
Amos Lee
Amos Lee (album)
who knew?!
You Are An ENFP
The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!
In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts.
At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.
How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding
When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused.
11 November 2006
all i want for christmas is you....
Current Mood: cheerful & christmasy
Currently Watching: Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
so i saw this thing on my friend parker's journal that made me think.
I want to live in a holy manner so that I can say thank you with my life... thank you for my life.
i love that. i echo that for my own life. i want my motive to be a holy life, not just a moral life. i want to live with obedience and love, giving God thanks and praise for what i have and who i am. without that obedience, it seems a bit hollow...it doesn't mean as much without the foundation behind it.
on a different note, i can't wait for christmas this year!!! it's such a fun time....i love being home for the holidays...it being cold, getting to see family, doing fun things together, watching a christmas story over and over again on christmas day (a tradition in our family!!! haha) all that stuff. i love that about christmas. but what is disappointing to me is that there is a loss of what makes christmas christmas. the birth of our Jesus. what a great thing to celebrate!!!!!!!! i'm always amazed every year by how much the christmas eve service at our church blows me away!!! i love it!!! and i cry almost every year (i'm such a sap i know!!)...at just how beautiful everything is, but mostly at what an amazing gift we have in Jesus. that just blows my mind!!
i got on the christmas rant because they are showing how the grinch stole christmas on tv, and i just love that little cartoon (almost as much as the charlie brown christmas)...it makes me want to decorate for christmas!!! (but not until after thanksgiving...)
so i hope your heart is not two sizes too small, an that you enjoy today like it's christmas!!! hee hee!
Currently Watching: Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
so i saw this thing on my friend parker's journal that made me think.
I want to live in a holy manner so that I can say thank you with my life... thank you for my life.
i love that. i echo that for my own life. i want my motive to be a holy life, not just a moral life. i want to live with obedience and love, giving God thanks and praise for what i have and who i am. without that obedience, it seems a bit hollow...it doesn't mean as much without the foundation behind it.
on a different note, i can't wait for christmas this year!!! it's such a fun time....i love being home for the holidays...it being cold, getting to see family, doing fun things together, watching a christmas story over and over again on christmas day (a tradition in our family!!! haha) all that stuff. i love that about christmas. but what is disappointing to me is that there is a loss of what makes christmas christmas. the birth of our Jesus. what a great thing to celebrate!!!!!!!! i'm always amazed every year by how much the christmas eve service at our church blows me away!!! i love it!!! and i cry almost every year (i'm such a sap i know!!)...at just how beautiful everything is, but mostly at what an amazing gift we have in Jesus. that just blows my mind!!
i got on the christmas rant because they are showing how the grinch stole christmas on tv, and i just love that little cartoon (almost as much as the charlie brown christmas)...it makes me want to decorate for christmas!!! (but not until after thanksgiving...)
so i hope your heart is not two sizes too small, an that you enjoy today like it's christmas!!! hee hee!
09 November 2006
love is all around me, it's everywhere you go....
Mood: contemplative
(official disclaimer from me....this is a lot deeper than what i usually write and ended up being sappier than anything, but if you want to read it, that's obviously what it's here for....and don't worry, there's still song lyrics in here...you just have to find them!!!)
i think love is the most important thing. ever. there are so many reasons why, but recently i was reminded of it by a friend of mine. i love when people can show you things that God is trying to tell you. getting to see faces that just make you smile--you don't know why or how, but they are faces that just seem to force a joyful expression to your face--those are faces of people that i love. i think it's so amazing the way that God brings that joy into your life. the joy of friendships. and of family.
friends have always been so valuable to me. i have always considered my friends to be my family, so if you are someone that i talk to on a daily basis, or even weekly, or monthly, know that is what i consider you to be. and you mean the world to me. when i lose touch with a friend, it really hears me, like losing another family member...which i realized recently has been more devastating than i had ever though.
i recently got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. i haven't seen her in 7 years--the last time i saw her was for my high school graduation. it's not that she lives far away, or that i can't seem to get to her house, it's just that somehow,, she has slipped out of my life. after my dad died, we didn't see much of her. i don't know if i wasn't considered to be as much a part of their family anymore or what, but suddenly i felt like i was on the outside. but every year, i got another birthday card with a check for $25 in it. from the time i was about 6 years old to now.
my freshman year of high school, i got a letter at christmas from my aunt, saying that my meemaw had died a couple of months earlier, and suddenly i was filled with such unbelievable grief that i was actually angry, an emotion that i don't really express much. (that sounds ridiculous to say, but that's the best way i can describe it) it was like my dad had died all over again--it just didn't seem fair. that all these people were just gone, with no real goodbyes. that just hurt my heart all over again. it felt like that solidified a break--a break from that part of my family, like the only thing i had to connect me with them was my last name.
so anyways, i got this card in the mail, and as soon as i opened it, i just started crying. it didn't matter that all that stuff and hurt and grief had happened in the past. my aunt thought enough about me to send me another cutesy halloween card with a check for $25 in it. every year. what love that she has for me, that every single year, wihtout fail, she send me that card. and the messages on them are always so cheesy...like i'm still a little girl (i.e. here's "witching" you a happy halloween...i've seen them all), but i LOVE them. i treasure them, because i see the value. i get the message. love is all around me. it's one of those things that you can see in everything. all you have to do is open your eyes to it. how beautiful. God created love--it's manifested in everything you see--people can surprise you with their love for you.
i didn't mean to go that deep with it, but i just had to say that i am so blessed. i was simply going to talk about how the love of wonderful friends has changed my life--about how seeing God in the faces that bless me every day--but i think i will leave it at God creating love and showing us that love every day. in some way or another, we all get to see it.
(official disclaimer from me....this is a lot deeper than what i usually write and ended up being sappier than anything, but if you want to read it, that's obviously what it's here for....and don't worry, there's still song lyrics in here...you just have to find them!!!)
i think love is the most important thing. ever. there are so many reasons why, but recently i was reminded of it by a friend of mine. i love when people can show you things that God is trying to tell you. getting to see faces that just make you smile--you don't know why or how, but they are faces that just seem to force a joyful expression to your face--those are faces of people that i love. i think it's so amazing the way that God brings that joy into your life. the joy of friendships. and of family.
friends have always been so valuable to me. i have always considered my friends to be my family, so if you are someone that i talk to on a daily basis, or even weekly, or monthly, know that is what i consider you to be. and you mean the world to me. when i lose touch with a friend, it really hears me, like losing another family member...which i realized recently has been more devastating than i had ever though.
i recently got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. i haven't seen her in 7 years--the last time i saw her was for my high school graduation. it's not that she lives far away, or that i can't seem to get to her house, it's just that somehow,, she has slipped out of my life. after my dad died, we didn't see much of her. i don't know if i wasn't considered to be as much a part of their family anymore or what, but suddenly i felt like i was on the outside. but every year, i got another birthday card with a check for $25 in it. from the time i was about 6 years old to now.
my freshman year of high school, i got a letter at christmas from my aunt, saying that my meemaw had died a couple of months earlier, and suddenly i was filled with such unbelievable grief that i was actually angry, an emotion that i don't really express much. (that sounds ridiculous to say, but that's the best way i can describe it) it was like my dad had died all over again--it just didn't seem fair. that all these people were just gone, with no real goodbyes. that just hurt my heart all over again. it felt like that solidified a break--a break from that part of my family, like the only thing i had to connect me with them was my last name.
so anyways, i got this card in the mail, and as soon as i opened it, i just started crying. it didn't matter that all that stuff and hurt and grief had happened in the past. my aunt thought enough about me to send me another cutesy halloween card with a check for $25 in it. every year. what love that she has for me, that every single year, wihtout fail, she send me that card. and the messages on them are always so cheesy...like i'm still a little girl (i.e. here's "witching" you a happy halloween...i've seen them all), but i LOVE them. i treasure them, because i see the value. i get the message. love is all around me. it's one of those things that you can see in everything. all you have to do is open your eyes to it. how beautiful. God created love--it's manifested in everything you see--people can surprise you with their love for you.
i didn't mean to go that deep with it, but i just had to say that i am so blessed. i was simply going to talk about how the love of wonderful friends has changed my life--about how seeing God in the faces that bless me every day--but i think i will leave it at God creating love and showing us that love every day. in some way or another, we all get to see it.
08 November 2006
Everybody's talking how i can't can't be your love...
Mood: contemplative
i love how sometimes songs just speak to you on a subconscious level...like you hear a song for the first time in a long time, adn all the sudden you just want to listen to it over and over again...
i think that it's one of those somethings that gets put in your head to help you deal with something going on in your life...so there you go. that and i just love this song, so it's what i'm posting today. sorry that these are so erratic, but whatever. i just write as the mood strikes me.
"Be Be Your Love"
If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything
Everything...
Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
I want to be your love, love, love
it's a great song...if you've never heard it, it's on my playlist right now!
i love how sometimes songs just speak to you on a subconscious level...like you hear a song for the first time in a long time, adn all the sudden you just want to listen to it over and over again...
i think that it's one of those somethings that gets put in your head to help you deal with something going on in your life...so there you go. that and i just love this song, so it's what i'm posting today. sorry that these are so erratic, but whatever. i just write as the mood strikes me.
"Be Be Your Love"
If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything
Everything...
Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
I want to be your love, love, love
it's a great song...if you've never heard it, it's on my playlist right now!
celebrity what??!?!??
so i finally took one of those celebrity look-a-like things, and here is what it came up with. yay. enjoy.
09 August 2006
running...
Current Mood: energetic
Currently Listening:
Tegan and Sara
So Jealous (album)
i thought the marathon would be easier. -lance armstrong
so last year, i decided to train for a marathon...i had always wanted to run one, so i thought 17 april 2006 would be my time (the boston marathon...with the bro-yo)...i had lots of speculation from other runners about if i could make it, but i started the training anyways...i knew the qualifying time would be tough, but i had no idea how tough...3 hr 40 mins...yikes!!! but i started anyways.
in about february, i realized that i wasn't going to make it to the boston, but that i would try for the cowtown instead...next year. i had already missed all the training since the race was on 25 feb, but i was going to keep after it. after a couple of months of running, i realized that i might just not be able to finish after all. but i went on to the boston and cheered on the friends and fam, and for my efforts, my sweet bro-yo gave me his boston marathon shirt!!! so so so sweet! i love it!!!
but i feel lance armstrong's pain, and him saying it was hard makes me feel a whole lot better about it...considering he's won the tour de france seven times!!!! i guess it wasn't just me!! so i decided that i think i might try to do the avon breast cancer walk instead....it's the one that runs over 3 days, walking a total of 60 miles...so i guess i just need to get in shape for that now!! so if anyone is interested in doing it with me, just let me know!! i would love the company (both in training and the day of)!!
i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving...i know being home is fun for everyone!!! i hope to see you guys soon!!!
and what i've been listening to lately is awesome!! check it out!
Currently Listening:
Tegan and Sara
So Jealous (album)
i thought the marathon would be easier. -lance armstrong
so last year, i decided to train for a marathon...i had always wanted to run one, so i thought 17 april 2006 would be my time (the boston marathon...with the bro-yo)...i had lots of speculation from other runners about if i could make it, but i started the training anyways...i knew the qualifying time would be tough, but i had no idea how tough...3 hr 40 mins...yikes!!! but i started anyways.
in about february, i realized that i wasn't going to make it to the boston, but that i would try for the cowtown instead...next year. i had already missed all the training since the race was on 25 feb, but i was going to keep after it. after a couple of months of running, i realized that i might just not be able to finish after all. but i went on to the boston and cheered on the friends and fam, and for my efforts, my sweet bro-yo gave me his boston marathon shirt!!! so so so sweet! i love it!!!
but i feel lance armstrong's pain, and him saying it was hard makes me feel a whole lot better about it...considering he's won the tour de france seven times!!!! i guess it wasn't just me!! so i decided that i think i might try to do the avon breast cancer walk instead....it's the one that runs over 3 days, walking a total of 60 miles...so i guess i just need to get in shape for that now!! so if anyone is interested in doing it with me, just let me know!! i would love the company (both in training and the day of)!!
i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving...i know being home is fun for everyone!!! i hope to see you guys soon!!!
and what i've been listening to lately is awesome!! check it out!
13 March 2006
quizzy thing from linz
so i saw this on linz's blog, and i thought it might be fun so i jacked it...so here goes...
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. "Wendy had danced with joy, just as the real Mrs. Darling..." (from Peter Pan)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? my glass of water
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? 13 going on 30
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 1:15 pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?i don't know...
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? pat benetar's "love is a battlefield"
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? earlier, letting the dog in
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? my email
9. What are you wearing? pink boxers and my bca christmas quarter tee
10. Did you dream last night? i'm sure i did, but i don't remember
11. When did you last laugh? nikki and i were talking about the cotton bowl and inappropriate words in chris's car
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? brownish paint, some flower prints, and a painting of my papaw (i'm in the living room at home)
13. Seen anything weird lately? ummmm....only the half naked girls at the rodeo the other night with barb
14. What do you think of this quiz? it's something to do
15. What is the last film you saw? true lies
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? i would pay for a group of friends to go to europe for a sweet vacation with me, i would fund some missionaries, i would pay for some people to come to america, i would try to help out with the aids genocide in africa, i would buy a house in connecticut, i would get a sweet little estate next to george clooney at lake como, i would find a little fixer up apartment in new york, and then i would take a nap cause i would be so tired...
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. i wish i was more talented.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? i would want everyone to have a gift...the gift of grace, and for each person to know the love of Christ. and that they would try to live for Him everyday.
19. Do you like to dance? more than you'll ever know.
20. George Bush: he seems pretty cool i guess. i wish he would take more responsibility for his actions though.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? molly, maggie, julia, i'm pretty open though.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? spencer, noah, emmett, elliot, but again, i'm pretty open.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? are you kidding?!!! i would love to...
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? well done my good and faithful servant.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. "Wendy had danced with joy, just as the real Mrs. Darling..." (from Peter Pan)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? my glass of water
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? 13 going on 30
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 1:15 pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?i don't know...
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? pat benetar's "love is a battlefield"
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? earlier, letting the dog in
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? my email
9. What are you wearing? pink boxers and my bca christmas quarter tee
10. Did you dream last night? i'm sure i did, but i don't remember
11. When did you last laugh? nikki and i were talking about the cotton bowl and inappropriate words in chris's car
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? brownish paint, some flower prints, and a painting of my papaw (i'm in the living room at home)
13. Seen anything weird lately? ummmm....only the half naked girls at the rodeo the other night with barb
14. What do you think of this quiz? it's something to do
15. What is the last film you saw? true lies
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? i would pay for a group of friends to go to europe for a sweet vacation with me, i would fund some missionaries, i would pay for some people to come to america, i would try to help out with the aids genocide in africa, i would buy a house in connecticut, i would get a sweet little estate next to george clooney at lake como, i would find a little fixer up apartment in new york, and then i would take a nap cause i would be so tired...
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. i wish i was more talented.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? i would want everyone to have a gift...the gift of grace, and for each person to know the love of Christ. and that they would try to live for Him everyday.
19. Do you like to dance? more than you'll ever know.
20. George Bush: he seems pretty cool i guess. i wish he would take more responsibility for his actions though.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? molly, maggie, julia, i'm pretty open though.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? spencer, noah, emmett, elliot, but again, i'm pretty open.
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? are you kidding?!!! i would love to...
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? well done my good and faithful servant.
20 February 2006
07 February 2006
at last...
God is taking over my life with grace today. what a beautiful thing!! i hope each of you is experiencing that today. i love you guys, and this song is on my heart right now, so i'm sharing it with you...be good! kisses.
At Last My Past
TJ McCloud
Regrets
I guess I've wrestled with much more
This lonely vessel cannot ford
Tired and I'm bored of fighting alone
With the yesterdays I don't want to see
I keep on tacking up more
Just like I'm trying to keep score
What I wish I had done
Keeps me trying to run
I can't shake my shadow for the life of me
But He, He promised me a day would come
When I wouldn't have to run anymore
And free, freedom is free from the One who doens't keep score
At last my past can't run as fast and the One who's chasing me
He swears that He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
It's amazing and it's true
The God that's chasing me is chasing you too, yeah
I guess it's better I never look back
At all the times I lost track
Cause it's all been a race by the mercy and grace
of the One who keeps making me whole
I can't explain how it happened to me but
Just that it happened to me
The regrets I know they chase me no more
I'm covered in the bloodshed for me
He promised me a time would come
When i wouldn't have to run anymore
And free, freedom is free from the One who doesn't keep score
At last my past can't run as fast as the one who's chasing me
He swears that He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
It's amazing and it's true
The God who's chasing me is chasing you too...
at last my past....
And at last my past can't run as fast as the one who's chasing me
He swears He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
it's amazing and it's true
The God that's chasing me is chasing you too
At Last My Past
TJ McCloud
Regrets
I guess I've wrestled with much more
This lonely vessel cannot ford
Tired and I'm bored of fighting alone
With the yesterdays I don't want to see
I keep on tacking up more
Just like I'm trying to keep score
What I wish I had done
Keeps me trying to run
I can't shake my shadow for the life of me
But He, He promised me a day would come
When I wouldn't have to run anymore
And free, freedom is free from the One who doens't keep score
At last my past can't run as fast and the One who's chasing me
He swears that He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
It's amazing and it's true
The God that's chasing me is chasing you too, yeah
I guess it's better I never look back
At all the times I lost track
Cause it's all been a race by the mercy and grace
of the One who keeps making me whole
I can't explain how it happened to me but
Just that it happened to me
The regrets I know they chase me no more
I'm covered in the bloodshed for me
He promised me a time would come
When i wouldn't have to run anymore
And free, freedom is free from the One who doesn't keep score
At last my past can't run as fast as the one who's chasing me
He swears that He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
It's amazing and it's true
The God who's chasing me is chasing you too...
at last my past....
And at last my past can't run as fast as the one who's chasing me
He swears He just doesn't care cause He died so i could be made free
it's amazing and it's true
The God that's chasing me is chasing you too
28 January 2006
yesterday was the greatest..
yesterday i got to spend the morning with one of my favorite people...mr. dan braswell.
he is just the absolute greatest. we got to just have a meal and hang out, but it was such a great day!!! i miss him. a bunch. he's just one of those people that i can never spend too much time with. and that makes me miss my other friends too. friends that live too far away. sad. but i'll see them soon!!!
on another note, i also got to talk to lauren yesterday about life. that's always good! she puts things in perspective for me, and that never hurts. we got to have a good talk just about how life is going and the future. i can honestly say that i'm really enjoying thinking about what God has in store for me in the future. i've been reading this book by donald miller called through painted deserts, and i have to say that it's really giving me a different point of view...or should i say that through the book, God is giving me a different view about life and my future...so anyways, i'm not going to leave a song today, but rather a quote from him...possibly one of my favorite quotes right now. i love you all, and if you're moving around, be safe! kisses
"It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
he is just the absolute greatest. we got to just have a meal and hang out, but it was such a great day!!! i miss him. a bunch. he's just one of those people that i can never spend too much time with. and that makes me miss my other friends too. friends that live too far away. sad. but i'll see them soon!!!
on another note, i also got to talk to lauren yesterday about life. that's always good! she puts things in perspective for me, and that never hurts. we got to have a good talk just about how life is going and the future. i can honestly say that i'm really enjoying thinking about what God has in store for me in the future. i've been reading this book by donald miller called through painted deserts, and i have to say that it's really giving me a different point of view...or should i say that through the book, God is giving me a different view about life and my future...so anyways, i'm not going to leave a song today, but rather a quote from him...possibly one of my favorite quotes right now. i love you all, and if you're moving around, be safe! kisses
"It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
22 January 2006
what to say?
since i think no one really reads this, i think i can be just as candid as i would like...so we'll see. haha. anyways, i have been thinking about my life lately. i think that when i am alone, i do a lot of self reflection (this could be a good or bad thing...i haven't really decided yet). i've been thinking about this disease that i have. it's called discontentment. it has infected me first hand and has infiltrated my body and mind. i keep thinking that i am just behind or just doomed to be unattractive, or single forever, or any other number of ridiculous things. but i am slowly learning. i have been thinking about my place in this world. and then it hit me that my place in this world is no place at all. i wasn't made for this. i have been fighting with this discontentment, and bad attitude, when i am just not made for this place. i was not created to worry about my weight, my love life, or any other stupid thing that i worry myself with. the only thing i should be concerned with is giving my LORD His proper glory. everything else is just...well stuff. so i guess that's just my stuff for today. my stuff that i keep worrying about. so if you pray for me, ask the Lord to help me continue down this path toward Him, and away from the stupid stuff i keep thinking about. love you guys...kisses.
i guess i should leave a song since it's a tradition and all. this song holds strong silly & sentimental value to me, not necessarily from the lyrics, but just because (you'll have to ask me about that one...)
I Wish We'd All Been Ready
DC Talk
Life was filled with guns and war,
And all of us got trampled on the floor.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Children died, the days grew cold.
A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold.
I wish we'd all been ready.
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.
A man and wife asleep in bed,
She hears a noise, turns her head he's gone.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Two men walking up a hill,
One disappears, one's left standing still.
I wish we'd all been ready.
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind
(oh yeah, ooh)
(yeah, alright)
The Father spoke, the demons dined.
How could you have been so blind?
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.
No, And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind
I hope we'll all be ready.
You've been left behind...
i guess i should leave a song since it's a tradition and all. this song holds strong silly & sentimental value to me, not necessarily from the lyrics, but just because (you'll have to ask me about that one...)
I Wish We'd All Been Ready
DC Talk
Life was filled with guns and war,
And all of us got trampled on the floor.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Children died, the days grew cold.
A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold.
I wish we'd all been ready.
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.
A man and wife asleep in bed,
She hears a noise, turns her head he's gone.
I wish we'd all been ready.
Two men walking up a hill,
One disappears, one's left standing still.
I wish we'd all been ready.
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind
(oh yeah, ooh)
(yeah, alright)
The Father spoke, the demons dined.
How could you have been so blind?
And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind.
No, And there's no time
To change your mind
The Son has come
And you've been left behind
I hope we'll all be ready.
You've been left behind...
21 January 2006
do i need a hero?
of course tonight...of ALL nights is bonnie tyler night. so instead of boring you with another total eclipse of the heart reference (although it is one of my fav songs...) i'll give you a different lovely ballad of hers...
Holding Out for a Hero
Bonnie Tyler
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dreamof what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind end the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood
Holding Out for a Hero
Bonnie Tyler
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dreamof what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind end the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood
19 January 2006
i stand amazed
i stand amazed in the presence
of JESUS the nazerene
and wonder how He could love me
a sinner condemned unclean
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!
He took my sins and my sorrows
He made them His very own
He bore the burden to Calvary
and suffered and died alone
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!
of JESUS the nazerene
and wonder how He could love me
a sinner condemned unclean
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!
He took my sins and my sorrows
He made them His very own
He bore the burden to Calvary
and suffered and died alone
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
and my song shall ever be
how marvelous!
how wonderful!
is my Savior's love for me!
15 January 2006
between a rock & a hard place
so i'm thinking i might not write here anymore. but of course i need someone else to make that decision for me, so let me know if you think i should...
until then, i leave you with one of my repeat songs of the day.
Somebody to Love
Queen
Can anybody find be somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet(Take a look at yourself)
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have to spend all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief Lord
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard (he works hard) everyday of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)
'Til the tears run down from my eyesLord
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (please)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(He wants help)Every day - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
(He's)I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Ooh
Somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(Anybody find me someone to love)
Got no feel
I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK I'm alright (he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I'm gonna be free Lord
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love...
Somebody somebody somebody somebody
Find me somebody to love...
until then, i leave you with one of my repeat songs of the day.
Somebody to Love
Queen
Can anybody find be somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet(Take a look at yourself)
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have to spend all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief Lord
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard (he works hard) everyday of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)
'Til the tears run down from my eyesLord
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (please)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(He wants help)Every day - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
(He's)I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Ooh
Somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(Anybody find me someone to love)
Got no feel
I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK I'm alright (he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I'm gonna be free Lord
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love...
Somebody somebody somebody somebody
Find me somebody to love...
14 January 2006
today is the day
so i've officially moved into my apartment. it's a bit satisfying to be in a new place and have all my stuff in it. however, i'm not officially unpacked yet. baby steps. all baby steps. haha. i hope you all have had a wonderful first two weeks of the year. i have been blown away by the Lord's provision this week. just to mention it to you. i thought you might like to know. i'm learning so much about how the Lord works in my life. i keep thinking that i'm alone. that i'm going to be alone forever. it's a depressing thought if you let it be. i know that my life is not that way, but the enemy keeps on putting that thought in my mind. the thought that i have nothing and have no way of making my life have some meaning. but how untrue that is! the Lord is completely working in my life. sometimes i have to stop and look for it. but that doesn't mean He is isn't right there weaving His beauty into my life and making me more aware of His wonder. what a beautiful God! i am just constantly amazed by the wonder that the Lord reveals. there is such beauty and glory if you just stop and look at it. (i.e. this amazing picture of the sunset from the cruise ship....beautiful huh?!!)
i am also becoming more aware of the ways that i try to doubt the power and grace of God. i shy away from committing my everything to Him. i think it's because i'm just selfish and afraid. but those are two of the dumbest reasons to ever doubt. i have been reading this donald miller book that is now called through painted deserts (it used to be named the art of volkswagon maintenance or something like that)...but the Lord has been talking to me through this story of travel as told by don. i can't remember exactly where he talks about it, but he mentions several times the "why's" of life vs. the "how's" of life. it's like we think of the how constantly, and the why not as much. we are wondering how to get a spouse, how to be successful, how to find a career, how to whatever...blah blah...but we aren't asking the why...why is there love, why does it seem hard to find what would make you happy????? that got me thinking. why God sees me as worthy enough to receive His love? why am i so focused on getting married? why have i focused so much on the how's and missed the whys???? this forces you to look within...that could be scary, so proceed with caution!! i have looked at the how so much that i have missed lots of beautiful blessings in my life. i have the greatest friends, and i need to ask myself why they like to hang out with me....haha. just kidding. but seriously, in light of the thoughts that i'm getting about that, i am making my song for today a classic...brace yourself, cause it's U2. love you guys so much, and start thinking!!! haha. kisses.
(p.s. sorry this is so long tonight! thanks for putting up with me!)
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
U2
I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you, only to be with you
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls, these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I have kissed honey lips, felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire, This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one, bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running
You broke the bonds and you loosed the chains
Carried the cross, of my shame, of my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
13 January 2006
i love it when we're cruisin together...
what a fun trip with beautiful pine cove friends...
we be some safe people!!
we be some safe people!!
fancy night!!
jeff me & gigi
@ playa del carmen
so i'm back and i'm still alive...i'll update more when i get back to my computer but for now, here are some pictures to hold you over...
04 January 2006
it's 2006...weird.
so tomorrow i leave for my cruise. but today is a fun day of shopping!! i'm quite excited! this cruise is going to be super fun!! i don't really have anything fun to write about though...so i leave you with the song for the day. think about what it's telling us to do...love each other. wow. i just realized that that sounds pretty cheesy, but it's true. give others some genuine Jesus love today. be good people....kisses.
One Love/People Get Ready
Bob Marley
One Love! One Heart!
Let's get together and feel all right.
Hear the children cryin' (One Love!)
Hear the children cryin' (One Heart!)
Sayin': give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Sayin': let's get together and feel all right.
Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love!)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (One Heart!)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner,
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own beliefs?
One Love! What about the one heart?
One Heart!What about - ?
Let's get together and feel all right
As it was in the beginning (One Love!)
So shall it be in the end (One Heart!),
All right!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.
One more thing!
Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One Love!),
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (One Song!).
Have pity on those whose chances grows t'inner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation.
Sayin': One Love! What about the One Heart? (One Heart!)
What about the - ?
Let's get together and feel all right.I'm pleadin' to mankind! (One Love!)
Oh, Lord! (One Heart) Wo-ooh!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.
One Love/People Get Ready
Bob Marley
One Love! One Heart!
Let's get together and feel all right.
Hear the children cryin' (One Love!)
Hear the children cryin' (One Heart!)
Sayin': give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Sayin': let's get together and feel all right.
Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One Love!)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (One Heart!)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner,
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own beliefs?
One Love! What about the one heart?
One Heart!What about - ?
Let's get together and feel all right
As it was in the beginning (One Love!)
So shall it be in the end (One Heart!),
All right!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.
One more thing!
Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One Love!),
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (One Song!).
Have pity on those whose chances grows t'inner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation.
Sayin': One Love! What about the One Heart? (One Heart!)
What about the - ?
Let's get together and feel all right.I'm pleadin' to mankind! (One Love!)
Oh, Lord! (One Heart) Wo-ooh!Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right
Let's get together and feel all right.
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